I actually have been trying to write this blog post for at least two weeks but as you have heard from me, very often of late, I was busy. This is how things went. With ten minutes to spare with the 9:00PM deadline looming the only subject to the sale of Dad’s condo was removed on Thursday, January 29th. That meant that the condo was officially sold with a closing date of March 19th. My Magic Jack phone line rang at 10:00AM the next morning. Dad was finally, after 6 months in hospital, being transferred to a nursing home. This is the only nursing home in the entire city of Edmonton that can take someone with a chest tube. It is at opposite ends of the city from where my family lives and is a big push for them to visit but there was no choice. Normally you have 24 hours to accept the move and be moved to the nursing home. Being as it was a Friday he would not be moved till the following Monday which was great as it gave everyone time to start packing things up.
Dad was feeling quite well here ( taken a few weeks before he was moved ). My brother tells me that Dad was sending me a message that he was still in charge.
About 3:45PM that same Friday afternoon I received a phone call from the hospital stating that the doctor wanted to take Dad’s tube out 😯 I had very recently actually asked that doctor to consider taking the tube out as it hadn’t been drained since I was there in mid November. He would not remove it. You see if the tube was removed than Dad could go to one of the three choices of homes closer to the family. So now at 4:00PM on a Friday we are being told that the tube is coming out on Monday. Did that mean that Dad would lose the nursing home bed they were holding for him? Would they hold the bed till Tuesday? Amazingly Dad was being offered a private room. That never happens I was told and everyone has to go to a shared room until a private one comes up about 6 months later. But Dad would get his own room right away which was fabulous. However what to do re the tube being in. Family went back and forth. Dad wanted the tube taken out before he moved. I was fairly certain they would hold the bed for an extra day. One sister thought that Dad should transfer to the home on Monday and come back in 2 -3 weeks to have the tube taken out. Finally at 6:00PM I spoke with the doctor and confirmed the decision to take the tube out before the transfer. I didn’t find out till Monday morning that a sister had told the doctor we wanted Dad to move with the tube in. She undermined me and the doctor should not have listened.
That Monday morning my first call was at 7:10AM and I was on the phone all day long and have been pretty much ever since. A comedy of errors. No one was available to take the tube out. Meanwhile I was scouring the internet looking for adaptive clothing as Dad had to be dressed in normal clothes at the new place and of course he needed to be able to use a urinal. I finally found some pants in Toronto that had a drop down front flap and had them overnighted. Yeah for the inventor of velcro. In the end the tube only came out just before supper Tuesday and Dad was moved Wednesday morning. Not much recovery time at all. So an exhausted and in pain man was transferred. He was in a daze for days, literally. He had been wearing a hospital gown for 6 months and only every ate in his room on his own. Suddenly he had to dress and go to the dining room to eat.
Oh I forgot to mention that on that Sunday just a few days before the tube came out, he fell. His third fall while in hospital. So of course he was hurting from that also, not to mention that he hadn’t recovered from the fall he had just before Christmas. Poor guy. Of course once the tube came out dad could have gone somewhere else but he would still be on the waitlist. He was tired of being in the hospital and eating a thee week rotation of hospital food for 6 months didn’t help. He wanted out of that prison, so off he went to the nursing home. It was a gong show getting him moved, the ambulance was late so my sister stayed with my Dad while my brother loaded stuff into his car and went ahead to the home. He then got me in touch with the business office so I could get everything set up financially. Can you believe that just in case, I had already gone there in November and pre signed some blank documents and left a void cheque? So it was fairly easy except I had to figure out how to pay for the last 4 days of January.
The next several days were a blur of trying to get Dad settled, bringing in a few small pieces of furniture from home. His room is really tiny. I got him a phone and was able to retain the same phone number he has had for years and years and got his cable set up. We brought in a much larger TV from home and a few personal momentos. It wasn’t easy and it still isn’t finished, things need to be hung on the walls but we are waiting for maintenance. Dad perked up after a few days and really enjoyed the food. His favorite was perogies and sausages for lunch.
Dad is his new room.
Meanwhile I am dealing with constant calls all day long from the hospital. As I am the Power of Attorney I am the only one they will ask questions of. My sister was put out as she was right there and knew the answers but rules are rules. I spoke to so many people that my head was spinning. One memorable strong discussion was in allowing Dad’s foam mattress top to be put on his bed. After three nights of him not sleeping I stepped it up a few notches and he had the foam topper on within the hour. Lots of similar battles. At first they only would serve him minced food because they had to do a gag test to make sure that he could swallow. It would take 10 days before they had time to do the test. With my intervention it was done within 3 days and he finally could eat some real food. Except he kept getting served sandwiches for lunch day after day. It was my understanding that all meals had two choices. When Dad and my sister asked they were told that you could only have the second choice if you were allergic to the first choice or what was put in front of you. Two days later I finally was able to corner the head dietician. He sheepishly admitted that it was easier to serve the same thing to everyone but if Dad wanted the alternative choice he could have it. So that is the type of days I have been having. I have to admit that I was shocked to get a phone call from Dad’s newly appointed MD late on night. That was yet another hour of filling him in on Dad. He did say to me that after reading Dad’s chart he had a certain expectation and yet when he met Dad he was surprised at how good he was doing. I’ve said it many times, there is nothing wrong with Dad’s mind, just his body and how it functions.
Out of the blue I got a call the other day that my Dad’s top choice of longterm care home had him at the top of the list. Did we still want him to move there even though he had been moved just a week ago? More phone calls back and forth. It was a private room ( the entire place has private rooms ), it was only two years old and it was only 15 minutes away from family. However they all said no as Dad was worn out from move number one and they also didn’ t have the energy to move him yet again.
So the calls have been many and often lengthy. I am also working at getting the condo cleared. Then yesterday we got a request to advance to possession date. So many decisions. At one point this morning I was looking at flights to go back to Edmonton. But honestly I have been coping from here and know I can continue to do so. At least I get a beach walk every day and we are together. I sit at the computer either typing or on the phone for a solid 4 -8 hours and sometimes more per day. Thank goodness for Magic Jack. Colin does his thing either studying Spanish or playing his guitar and comes in to feed me from time to time and later in the afternoon I am served chilled vino blanco. We have had some nice times going out and last night was extra special but I will have to share that with you another time.
I called Dad this morning and he seemed very very spacey. He told me he was so dizzy and couldn’t even sit up. He did not eat last night nor this morning. My sister called me and told me that Dad was not doing well at all. A bit later she called and expressed grave concern for Dad. He was in pain, had trouble breathing and was very hot to touch and she thought fevered. She had been putting cold cloths on his forehead. A bedside chest x-ray was done via a mobile unit. I called the front desk for the results and was told that Dad was just fine……I asked about the Doctor coming to visit and the x-ray results. Everything was fine they said and the MD might be coming by on Thursday. Thursday 🙁 Another call to my sister at my Dad’s bedside. She says he looks very bad and he wants to go to the hospital. I called the nursing station yet again and insisted they go check on my father immediately.
Within 30 minutes an ambulance was called. Calls back and forth. Finally Dad is on the way to the hospital and she is driving there in her car. As I type this, Dad is in ER waiting to be assessed. Meanwhile I get a call from the newly appointed doctor. He is upset. He told he has repeatedly given the staff a specific number to call in an emergency, yet they left messages at 3 other numbers. How many phones does this guy have? At least he has called me. He asks me some questions and between us it seems that the staff has not done the right thing. An aside here…..I was told that the staff rotate daily so they don’t get burdened with the same patients. My reply to that last week, was how the heck can anyone then assess how the patient/resident is doing if they haven’t observed him for a few days in a row?
So right now, Dad is in ER. I was told by Dad’s new MD that Dad had crashed and was stabilized by the EMS before they could even get him to the hospital. Could Dad have had a silent MI? Yes I believe so and the long term care staff did not see it. Dad’s heart is only functioning at 40% or less and I was told that a cardiac event could trigger the end. So now I still sit at the computer waiting to hear from my sister, from the hospital and from the doctor who has promised to call me as soon as he hears anything.
Sadly he never even made it to the two week mark before he went back to the hospital.
