Jun 26, 2013

My last 2 days with Mom!

Dad and I started Saturday morning on a high note.  We were bringing in Mom’s cat, Angel, right into the hospital to see my mother.  Why not?  Who says we can’t, so we did.  Poor Angel has been so depressed since Mom went into hospital May 15th, not eating, or eating and being sick and mostly just pining at the front door waiting and waiting.

We had to trick Angel into getting into her crate and off we went. She barely made a sound the entire time down the long hall, down the elevator and all through the drive to the hospital nor in the hospital.

By now Mom had been transferred to a private room ( at my request considering the situation ) so we waltzed right in.  Dad and I had also brought a few things from home to decorate the room with.

The cat could hardly wait to get out and explore. Mom was happy to see her but I don't think Angel was too happy in that new environment of beeping machines and strange smells.

Dad did not stay long but before he left he made sure that Angel and Mom got a bit of a cuddle in.   Then Dad gave Mom her diamond ring set so she could feel close to him.

The rings weren't going to go on, but with a little bit of magic I got them on. Mom was so happy to have them on her finger again.

Some of us kids brought in items to make Mom feel more comfortable. The teddy bear was a gift to Dad from family friends when he almost died 8 years ago and he survived, so my sister Denise brought it in as a good luck charm.

We took over the medical info board. I added my message just before I left on Sunday.

I found this shirt in Mom's drawers at home and her face lit up when I hung it. The afghan at the foot of the bed was knit by Mom for Denise and brought a nice touch to the room.

I pinned back the curtains, turned the chairs sideways and pushed the machines as far back as I could so she could look outside.  It was difficult to leave with my sisters Lise and Denise on Saturday evening but Mom needed to rest.  Lise drove me to Dad’s where I made ( with her help ) dinner for all of us and shared some wine.

Sunday morning I insisted on taking Dad out for breakfast.  He thanked me and said that I had brought his appetite back.  Then we were off to the hospital.  Dad didn’t stay too long.  After he left I just sat by Mom’s bedside, I couldn’t read, I paced a bit.  When she woke up I had my final words with her and told her what a great Mom she has been.

Our final moment before the big machine....

She went back onto the big machine with the mask and I just sat with her.  Her brother and his wife came to say goodbye.  I stayed with them for a few moments but I had to leave.  As I left Mom said “thanks for coming”.

I have to say that I think that was the most difficult thing I have ever done, to just leave her there.  I cried then as I am crying now sharing this with you.  By the way I did ask Dad’s permission to write this and to include some photos.  Colin thinks I should not do it but I need to and Dad says he wants to have a record of what happened.

Despite leaving oodles of time to get to the airport ahead of schedule I almost missed my flight.  There was an international triathlon happening in Edmonton on Sunday and some bridges were closed.  That is in addition to the ones that were already closed which made it a 3 hour drive to the airport from the hospital rather than a 60 – 75 minute drive.  My flight was boarding as I arrived but I did get thru security and onto  my flight where as soon as we were airborne the crew treated me to some vino blanco gratis.  Great crew on that Westjet flight.

My wonderful husband met me at the Kelowna airport with hugs and once I got into the car, some vino.  Chris, I think you have started a new tradition.  Colin continued to surprise once we got home.  He had spent the entire day planning a special dinner and cooking it.

..including marinating. Seems he spent hours on Google researching.

In addition to marinating wild salmon he used a different marinade on the eggplant. He even peeled and pre cooked potatoes to finish them on the grill. Not to mention the salad he had prepared with cut up cherry tomatoes which really added to the flavor. I almost forgot, there was even dessert.

Carmeh just had to clean up the cedar plank.

So I was welcomed home with tons of love.  I felt very special but also exhausted.

Here are just a few photos from almost 10 years ago.  Thanks for digging them out Colin.

Don't they look so happy? This is taken on our beach site where we now live.But long ago only the RV lived here, with Mom and Dad as guests.

They look so happy. I love you both.






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15 responses so far

15 Responses to “My last 2 days with Mom!”

  1. Glad you got to be with your Mom for a while. Life is so hard sometimes but it is nice to remember the good times. Hugs.

  2. Peter says:

    Dear Contessa and Colin,

    Your post brings back so many memories…
    My mother, a victim of leukemia at age 47.
    My father, died while hiking in Venezuela, at age 64.

    We all have our losses, Shelagh just three years ago, when her Mumsie died at the ripe old age of 82.

    Still, when you loose a loved one, no matter how long they have enjoyed lfe, is a devastating experience. However, it will make you stronger, and wiser. You will take your mother’s place and become the one with all the wisdom and advise.

    Te cycle of life goes on…

    Mourn, but rejoice!

    Bless you both…

  3. So happy that you were able to have some special time with your Mom, its moments like that that you will look back on and know that you were there for her. I love that you and your Dad took Angel in for a visit with your Mom, I am sure that made her very happy.

    Thinking of you, Colin, your Dad and the rest of your family.

  4. Marty says:

    Just remember the good times. And who knows-she might surprise you all and rally.

  5. Barbara says:

    Bless you and your mom and dad. Oh how hard it is! I know. You all are in my prayers.

  6. I think taking Angel in to see your Mother was very special & I think writing about your goodbye time with your Mother was the right thing to do. Writing & expressing feelings is a comfort in itself.

  7. Nice that you did get to spend some special time with your mom.And have some wonderful pictures to enjoy.
    Dinner looks wonderful, but why precook the taters?

  8. Connie in DE says:

    This reminds me so much of my own mother several years ago – love that you took the cat to visit and all the extra touches you did to help cheer her up – Bless you all – you sure are my kind of people! xo

  9. Sharon says:

    Dear Contessa;
    I have just finished reading your blog and although I couldn’t comment on it on site I felt I had to send this email to say you and your family are in my prayers and thoughts. You are truly an exceptional daughter to your mother and father and I raise my glass to you. I can’t stop crying not for myself but for you and yours. Thinking about you and Colin. Take care.

  10. Kelly says:

    I was especially moved the last 2 blogs you wrote… thank you for sharing yourself and some of your family with your readers.
    I hope your Dad feels that others are thinking of him as well.
    Such nice pictures Colin dug out of much happier times with them.

    Colin… a cook as well ! that salmon looked sooo good… wish we had a good suppy of that in Ontario..

    take good care,

  11. Kelly says:

    (of course) …. I meant to type your Mom & Dad are being thought of….


  12. Rod Williams says:

    Well done. I sure miss my folks, and while it’s sad to their health decline, it’s good for you to spend as much time with them as you can, isn’t it?

  13. Chris says:

    Your a good daughter. That time will be remembered forever. No regrets! She must very happy to have such a wonderful husband and great kids. Hang in there.

  14. Trent and Teresa says:

    Sorry, but we can’t even put our thoughts into words …

    As always we will continue to pray for you and your family.

    Hugs, Trent and Teresa

  15. Croft says:

    These are very stressful times! She still might surprise you like Norma’s dad did us. He was in a coma and they removed all the tubes and had us in to say goodbye when suddenly he woke up with a, “What does a guy have to do to get a &%$@ meal around here”! They scrambled to find pudding and juice at three in the morning and he lived for three more years!

    It is good that you were able to be there and that she knew you were there! Stay strong!

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